Some are, well, less intellectual. Or may I put it in a more euphemistic way, fantasies. Yet, the trips in the azure of dreams is no less productive than my thoughts in other departments. In fact, I would go as far as saying that it defines how I act, how I talk, and how I interpret the intriguing social happenings.
And yes, these are childish fabrications, utopic yet motivational. True enough, I feel shameful to admit this in front of the public. Who wouldn't? And what better place can I share these enchanting thoughts unabashedly than this silent blog?
When I am showering, I picture myself as a cover image on the Time magazine, probably posing with a solemn face with an air of academic condescendence. And for what reason should thy face appear on the veneer of the publication? Probably for winning a gold medal in IMO in Primary School? Or perhaps conquering the perfect score which every Math Olympian can only dream to achieve (which ironically, is what I am doing right now)? Maybe take this littlun to a stage of a momentous speech? A speech that will grant him a Nobel Prize? and slap on 4 years of presidency?
As for the social aspect, maybe the beginning can be humbler. This littlun should be eking out a life for himself. Maybe start by selling the best wanton noodles in the town, and then miraculously discovered some mathematical olympiad books which provokes the prodigy in his mind. And at the end of my life I have a great deal of inspiring story to talk to my kids. And suddenly my roommates just have to switch off the heater and make me realise that I am in reality.
But I do realise how these thoughts have affected me. You see I come out with a lot of theories of how the society operates when I am simply doing nothing else, like walking from the college to the boarding school. Among these theories is one which I am particularly convinced that it models our society very well. And it comes inadvertently from all the ideals which randomly sprouts out of my head. I will feel guilty if I don't pen this idea anywhere in the world.
I believe that everyone has an ideal world which resides in their mind. Figuratively, think about the Plato's cave, in which everyone is tied to the chair and forced to see every scene which flows through their eyes like a movie. But not everyone likes what they see on the screen, simply because they are EXPECTING what will happen in the "movie". They expect themselves to have high achievements, they expect themselves to be understood by others, they expect lady luck to be kind to them. These expectations are the IDEAL world to them.
But back to the real world, not everyone has the same concept of an ideal world. A phrase like "what's wrong with you people" may be a joke in one's ideal, but it hurts in other people's opinion. When one achieved good results or won a competition, it infringes another person's ideals and jealousy will stem from there.
It's really interesting how this model describes the world. By using this model, it suggests that the kind of person who survives the best in this world is a person who can manipulate his ideals to complement the ideals that other people have. Kinda sounds like a hypocrite, but apparently that's the secret of the society. Game theory teaches us that the TIT FOR TAT strategy is the most robust strategy that sustains cooperation. In what ways are TIT FOR TAT not hypocritical then?
Well, most people would have lost me by now. I would be surprise if anyone follows up with my arguments, he/she must have the same ideals as me...
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I miss being small. Not in the figurative sense, if you know what I mean. (whatever I don't care if you don't XD) Why? Because people will listen to your theories to appease you, even though they think that you are crapping. You have to be much more credible in what you say when you grow up.
Which sometimes pisses me off when people expect me to know a lot of things because I appear to be smart. I seem to be able to get good grades, but really don't put too much expectations on me and give me the dubious look.
Ok that's not important, I can cope with that. At least people values me :)
But not everyone gets appreciated that much. Even though they are way smarter than me.
Anyway, this guy whom I am referring too. I realise (actually I realised very long ago but for the drama effect I will stick to present tense) that I have too many similarities with him.
For example, I almost wasn't able to go to Las Vegas because of some discrepancies with my US Visa. And for the freaking same day (which haunts me after I read this person's blog), this person was also having problems in applying Visa (to China). ON THE SAME FREAKING DAY RIGHT BEFORE SMO. We both solved our problems, but with different sentiments.
The moment I receive my passport I was so grateful and proud of myself. I was grateful to the the buddha whom I have prayed to. I am proud of myself for doing this mostly by myself, taking the initiative off an afternoon which I was supposed to be studying. I am proud of myself for saving the money of the trip for 3 people.
But he blames the school admin for not informing him to apply for visa. Just put it in comparison. His blogskin is black, mine is white. So similar yet so different huh.
And from recent posts he still sees me as a rival. I probably see him as a rival too 2-3 years ago, but the immature years have passed. I now do things for the sake of myself and not for the sake of other people.
It really hurts when I realise that someone hates me so much, just so you know...
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Let's change the topic shall we...
Forget it me wants sleep zzz...
I wonder when I will update this blog again. It was a fun experience though writing all these craps down. I wonder how many words have I checked in the dictionary XD fun fun fun...
